May 21st, 2012

#8

Ramblings of an Insomniac

Some days I feel as though the world is on fast forward while I end up moving at an even slower pace than usual. I'm really beginning to believe me signing that contract and joining the navy did nothing but fuck up my life. I feel like everything is going to shit and I can't stop it. I think I found someone who actually cares about me for me and I can't be with them because we are thousands of miles away from each other and it sucks. We both finally aren't with someone else and it seems like the universe is bent on keeping us apart and miserable. Is it so bad I want to be happy? Especially with all the shit I dealt with, with my ex. I want to tell him how I actually feel but I guess I just don't want to make myself vulnerable again, and I think it may actually be hurting me more than helping me. I wish I could just make my brain stop over analyzing everything, I wish I could just turn it off for a little while.

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